Marching to the beat of your own drum

I have always tried to teach my kids to never follow the crowd, don't do what everyone else is doing, be your own person and own your own thoughts and feelings. I think they have gotten the message.

My son is a welder by trade. He has a lot of tattoos. At his daughter's christening he wore a short sleeve shirt. When he took off his winter coat he looked around the room at the other men who had on shirts and ties or suit jackets. He thought to himself, maybe I should have worn a long sleeve shirt. My mother leaned into me at about the same time he was having this thought and said, "I wish he would have worn a long sleeved shirt." I about laughed my butt off because yes, a long sleeve shirt would have been PROPER by church standards and I am sure there were others judging my son for how he looks, but my attitude about that is at the end of the day and in the big scheme of things...What does the opinion of these people matter? My son loves his little girl and he takes good care of her. She won't laugh for anyone but him. If she knows he is in the house she is fussy until she gets him to come to her or hold her. She wants daddy's attention. I say that is more important than what he wears or how he looks. She doesn't care that daddy has tattoos or that daddy wasn't in a suit. She cares that daddy plays with her and talks to her and feeds her. She is only three months old, but she loves the sound of her daddy singing to her (no one else can stand his singing, but like he says, it doesn't matter because to her it is great!).

My daughter is living an alternative lifestyle. She has a girlfriend and I think her girlfriend is great. I love her to pieces. She treats my daughter with love and respect and that is more than I can say for a lot of relationships out there that are heterosexual. My daughter has told her friends this is who she is and if they have a problem with it then they can move on down the road. She hasn't lost any friends over it, but I am glad she told them right up front that she wasn't about to hide who she is.

I myself am not exactly conventional. I am wiccan and a bit of a hippy. Yes, I'll admit I do work in corporate America, yes I am in accounting and yes I happen to like it, but in my home and in my life I choose to be a free spirit. I wear what I want (even to the office), I choose my friends for their eclectic personalities, and I have fun in life. My friends are not the "beautiful" people of the world. I choose friends by their character, their compassion, their humor. However, I must say I don't really choose my friends they kind of just find me. I don't know why or how it happens, but for some reason people like to talk to me. Stranger tell me things, ask me questions, approach me when they could have approach several people before they even got to me. My ex boyfriend use to call it my mutant power. If I were a super hero I'd be Conversation Woman or Dr. Talk to Me. I always stop and listen when people approach me to talk. I figure there must be a reason they want to speak and everyone has the right to be heard and feel validated. I have even talked to homeless people. My mother use to ask me in high school, "How do you meet these people? Why do you talk with every underdog of the world?" I never had an answer for her other than. I try and listen when people need to be heard.

So this is why my background is in human services and after college I realized that you do not get paid well to have the mutant ability to listen and hear people and their needs. So I migrated towards business to make a better living (Hey I was a single mom!). So I try to volunteer and I try to instill in my children the need to be open minded and compassionate towards others. Someday I hope to teach my granddaughter the importance of being a good listener.

No one ever became rich or famous for being a good conversationalist, but then again I am not looking to be rich or famous. I want to be able to touch people's lives in a positive way and I want to be a good role model for them as well. I want others to know they are just as important as all the beautiful people out there and they deserve love like everyone else.

So I am ending this message with be who you are in your heart. Answer to no one and march to the beat of your own drum, clarinet or tambourine. Whatever works for you. Hey Gordon Gano plays a violin.