men suck

Okay, the current boyfriend barely made it a month and showed how flaky he was. I tell you I am about through with dating.

He was very intense, very funny and very drunk a lot. I cannot handle dating a drunk. He was too much drama and too much work. He'd forget when we were to meet for a date because he'd been too drunk when we made plans. He'd then try to shift the blame to me. I wasn't the one drinking and getting confused! I am smarter than his and he said he couldn't argue with me because I always had an answer for everything. Well, I had an answer for everything because I had right on my side. I knew what was right.

It is a shame because when he wasn't drinking he had so many wonderful qualities that I found myself drawn to him. Well, easy come, easy go. I don't understand why all the hassle. Life is too short for all the headache. I want dating to be simple, fun, easy and hassle free. I like my relationship to be like my lounge pants...comfortable to slip on and relaxing. I am 41 yrs. old. I have raised my kids (one to graduate next year) I do not have time for stupid men. I want a man who is emotionally secure and independent. I do not want to be his everything and I don't want to have him as my everything. I have too much going on in my life to get bogged down with having to entertain a grown man 100% of the time. Have your guy time, go places, do things, and know we will get together later.

My daughter's girlfriend didn't like him or trust him. She said that my ex boyfriend, oldermusicgeek was better boyfriend material even though he had a young kid. Yes, he was a good boyfriend. We had a lot of fun in those ten months. He and I never fought and never had a cross word towards each other. I want that kind of relationship with someone else. I want it to be like a ride in a boat on a pond drifting along and feeling at peace, not a roller coaster of emotions where I just want to get off and puke. I never cried once in the ten months I was with my ex boyfriend. I've cried too much in one weekend with this last guy.

I'm done and when I am done I walk away and have no more contact. I hope he gets the drinking under control and I hope he learns to love himself. He has too many insecurities and he felt I was too good for him. Maybe I am, but that shouldn't mean he should set out to destroy what we had just because he felt unworthy of me. I am a good person and he felt he was not a good enough person for me, well sorry he felt he couldn't upgrade. I guess he should just go back to dating low life redneck hillbilly women then. I am a cut above that. I deserve a man who knows his self worth just as I know mine. I am worth more than the drunk had to offer.

PDA

I love showing public displays of affection. I love kissing and hugging in public. I feel that we are in our own little world. I don't pay attention to what people are doing around us. I feel we can do as we please as long as we are not vulgar about it. I love walking along and all of a sudden he shoves me up against a wall of a building and kisses me. I love feeling close and being like teenagers once in a while.

My daughter and her girlfriend will kiss in public and people will stare. People never pay attention when heterosexuals kiss in public but see two guys or two girls kiss and it is a serious crime. People gawk and stare. My daughter doesn't care she will kiss her girlfriend anyway and I say more power to her! Dani is more reserved and shy than my daughter but she is learning to be more open.

I was talking with my aunt and mom about the girls and my mom brought up my daughter wearing a shirt that said Gay Straight Alliance (GSA). My aunt said it doesn't matter what the girls are and she loves them anyway but they do not need to shove it in people's faces. My come back was that it is nothing for men and women to shove their love in people's faces. It is nothing to see them kissing, holding hands and hugging each other in public so why is it called "Shoving it " in people's faces if the gay couples are doing the same thing. She didn't have anything to say to that. The topic was dropped. I feel I need to stick up for my girls because who else will stick up for them if I don't. I feel we need to educate the older people because it is my hope that in ten years it will be acceptable for gay marriages everywhere. I hope that everyone who reads this will want to do something to make a change and help the world to be a better place for all people no matter what their sexual orientation.

Strange encounters

I took my daughter's girlfriend, "Dani" to visit her grandmother today. Not her biological grandma, but the woman who is the mom of her guardian who took her in until she was 18. It was very strange to say the least.

We walked in and were introduced. Her grandma had not met my daughter or me. She has heard that my daughter is dating Dani. So the whole lesbian thing was new to Dani's family this past Thanksgiving when her guardian let it all out in the open. So grandma is looking at Dani with this steely gaze and not speaking. Dani is looking at the table and I am bouncy back and forth from all three faces. I winked at my daughter and made her smile. I tried to catch Dani's eye and I looked at grandma and saw in her eyes she was really the wolf in grandma's clothing. She made a comment about me being on the radio (looking at Dani the whole time) and what I said about Dani's guardians. She said, "I don't like some of the things that were said, but you [Dani] benefited so I guess it's okay." I wanted to say, "I told it like I saw it. I told what happened." I didn't say anything though, I just smiled at the grandma.

Conversation was stilted to say the least. We were all trying to think of things to say except my daughter. She was completely silent except for when the wolf asked where she worked. After 45 minutes of this we decided to make the excuse to leave. My daughter had to be at work. Grandma aka wolfy gave Dani her Christmas present and we left. We all breathed a huge sigh as we shut the car doors.

This is exactly why I would not allow my daughter to attend the Thanksgiving or the Christmas get together with Dani's guardians. In fact Dani didn't go either. They are horrid cold people and not at all accepting of Dani's lifestyle. My family has embraced Dani with open arms. They all love her and include her in every get together. They love my daughter and she will always be loved no matter what. I do not understand how people cannot accept their children when they are different. I will not allow anyone to shame my daughter. I will not tolerated ignorant comments from anyone.

When I started dating the new BF it was made clear that I will not tolerate prejudice of any kind. He has been very accepting of the girls as well as a young gay couple we are friends with. He said the girls are cute together, which they are. Even if my child was not gay, I could not tolerate prejudice in my life. I will not date people who are close minded. I can bend on some things like smoking (everyone arounds me smokes except for me. I can date a smoker, I just choose not to smoke) but I cannot bend on this. All people deserve respect and that is what I base my principles on.

I have had strange encounters in the past. I met with prejudice against wicca when my ex boyfriend's brother and sister in-law didn't want me at their home. I was shocked. I have never had anyone say I was not welcome in their home because of my religious beliefs. I was stunned that in this day and age there are still so many people with such hang ups. They need to get over themselves. It would shock them if they were turned away for being Catholic or Baptist. The "Christians" do not see anything wrong with themselves so why wouldn't they always be welcomed. Well I have news for them some places wouldn't welcome them with open arms, but they would never be turned away at a witch's home. Wicca is welcoming of all people. We do not try and force our beliefs on others just as we hope they would respect us by not shoving their beliefs down our throats.

My boyfriend believes in the Christian god. I told him that I am not out to change him or his beliefs. I just want him to be respectful of mine and not try and change me. It was agreed on and he is interested enough to learn more which I will be happy to share with him as little or as much as he desires to know.

We all come from different walks of life, we are all on different paths towards our personal growth. This is good. This is what makes people interesting. We do not have to be all going the same direction the same way at the same speed. We will all get there wherever our there may be.

rudeness of young people today

Okay, I take my daughter and her friends downtown to a see a band at a coffee house. This is not just any band, they are the best local band in our city. I take the new boyfriend to introduce him to my lifestyle and interests. It is the bands new CD release party. It is so crowded that even though we are there an hour before the show starts we have to sit at little tables right on the isle. Then all the 20 somethings are crowding around us and hugging and chatting but not moving to the other room to get out of our faces. We are completely hemmed in and see no way out.

My daughter suffers from anxiety attacks in crowded places. I can tell it is getting to her, but she is hanging on by visiting with her friends. I can tell the new Boyfriend is not happy about people breathing on his bald spot and there are butts and other parts in our faces. A Rabbi was even there cirrculating through the crowd! A Rabbi! I thought wow this band has really made it when religious figures are attending in full attire!

So some guy in tan Dockers is right by my face and not moving. I wanted so badly to bite his butt! I was having visions of doing just that when a guy sits on my daughter! He doesn't even apologize which makes the new BF want to say something. My daughter turns to me and says I am about to lose it! The BF says he will join her in losing it. So, I finished my drink quickly because a Britney Spears wanna be was in her space and I knew she'd rip her apart.

Sometimes it is difficult having such an outspoken lesbian for daughter. She could get herself in trouble and I would have to step in and the BF is like me...he'd step in. So this could be a bad situation when my daughter tears the giant black bow out of some chicks hair and screams at her for being a stupid girl.

Looking at the whole night I just felt that these young people were trying to crowd in and see the band when all they really needed was to hear the band. They were all talking anyway and not really listening like we were trying to do. I feel if they want to socialize while hearing the band then go to the other room where there is a couch and easy chairs and tables they can sit around at. I was very disappointed because I wanted the BF to get the most out of the band and he couldn't. He said he'd never go again. I talked him into trying on a night where it isn't a special event. He said he'd think about it and then he agreed to under the condition we go two hours early and get a table by the stage.

Some things never change. We will aways be complaining about the attitudes and behaviors of the next generation. Can you imagine what behavior they will be complaining about when these 20 somethings are 40?