A bad Jerry Springer show

So, It has been a while since my last blog. God so much has happend, my life will never be the same.

My daughter will be taking driver's ed this July, so I bought her a car. I guess she needs to be mobile. I can't believe she will graduate next year. So then I am on to becoming the crazy cat lady of small town Iowa. Whoa there...not so fast.

I recently started dating a younger man. A much younger man (14 yrs younger). I know what you are thinking. I am going to be taken for a ride, which could happen, but we are having lots of fun. I met him through my "adopted" daughter (see previous blogs on Dani). She is 19 and she started dating this guy. I thought to myself at first this is bad. He is so much older than she is and will take advantage of her innocence. I met him one night when we went to the coffee house for a band I wanted to see. The minute I met him there was an instant attraction. Serious sparks were flying, but I said to myself he is dating Dani, what am I thinking.

I started talking to him more, getting to know him. he and I have so much in common. Dani confided to me that she was confused and she thought about breaking up with him, but couldn't because she cared about him. They had nothing in common other than me. He started calling me all the time, spending lunch hours with me. We began e-mailing and finding so many common interests. He voiced it, but I thought it..."If only we'd met three weeks ago."

Dani kept asking me to take him on friday nights so Sami could stay the night with her. I was reluctant. I was worried about sending him the wrong idea, but in the end I gave in. I took him over night after all four of us went to the hockey game. The girls sat at the hockey game texting each other while he and I watch the game and screamed and yelled with the crowd. Our team won! I took the girls to Dani's apartment and he and I headed for home. We got pizza and watched Phantom of the Opera. He slept in Sami's room. We had a great time.

After about three weeks of this...every Friday night he and I went somewhere and the girls had their time, well we just couldn't help it any longer. We became lovers. I was so torn and worried about hurting Dani. I hated the way I was doing things knowing she looked at me as a mother figure. He admitted his love for me and I tried many times to end it which caused us to fight. Dani hated us fighting. She would make us talk things out. Little did she know what she was doing.

It finally came to a head and he decided to tell her he wanted to be with me. I got a call late one night saying, "Get over here, I told her. Come comfort her and take me home with you. I can't stay here any longer. I need to be with you. I love you." I grabbed my shoes, woke up Sami and quickly explained to her (somewhat, leaving out the two month affair) what was happening.

It was heart wrenching the way she looked at me the way she blamed me. I understood why she chose to blame me. I should have known better, I was her mother figure, he was a fairly new boyfriend, so she could expect something like that from him, but not from me. There were so many tears on both sides. I begged her to understand I never meant to love him, I never meant to take him from her, I never set out to do anything like this. It is so out of character for me. After two hours and the girls spent time in the apartment building hallway while he and I sat in the living room we all went back to my home. The girls went to Sami's room and he came to my room. We talked for hours knowing Sami had school and I had work. I think we got like three hours sleep. Sami had finals. I took Dani and Das back to her apartment. He packed a bag and came home with me after work. He has been living with me now for a little over a week. It has been tough don't get me wrong. He and I both had to deal with Dani's anger and games she decided to play, but what could I expect...she behaved as any 19 yr old would behave when getting her heart broken.

As far as me and Das, well it goes. We have a great deal of fun together and we enjoy the same things even if it is just watching a movie or hanging out in the park taking pictures. We went to the racetrack something I never do and I won every time. I guess I am good at picking the right horses. It was fun. Not big bets, but just having fun and coming out a little ahead. At least not losing anything. I still hurt from what I put Dani through. I wish things had been different, but sometimes you do not know you will fall in love with someone and unfortunately someone may get hurt. i wasn't looking to love Das, but there you go...I do.