Happy Yule

Friday night was our Yule ritual. I hosted at my home. Yule is actually on winter solctice, which was technically Thursday the longest day of the year. My group consisted of 6 people all paired off. My daughter and her girlfriend, our good friend and wiccan leader Nathian and his boyfriend and then me and my new boyfriend. I found it intereresting that we had a lesbian and a gay couple and of course the heterosexual couple.

We set up the alter on the coffee table and my boyfriend was very nervous. He wasn't sure what to expect yet he felt it was important that he attend the ritual in the hopes that it would bring us closer together. I tried reassuring him that being a part of my religion was not necessarily a criteria for dating me. Being accepting however was very important. He squeezed my hand the whole time we were calling the circle. When it was time to bring new people into the circle I stood behind him and whispered the phrase for him to say. He was shaking like a leaf but did a great job. He deserved a kiss definitely. He grabbed my hand again after passing the dagger.

The group was very informal and we each wrote a list of things we hope to manifest (see manifesting in a previous blog) in the coming year until next Yule. I like writing manifestations. I really feel handwriting something gives more power to the intention behind it and will help it to fullfillment. We ordered pizza and the guys did a beer run and I finished off the ceremonial wine. It was a great night. My boyfriend enjoyed it and he really needed for me to read his Yule note. He said he couldn't wait a whole year. I read it and well, I'll not say what it said but it touched me deeply and I carry it with me always.

Interesting on how I met this guy. I was at the local coffee house in my town listening to a band on a Friday night. He came in and I took one look at him and thought WOW! He sat acrossed the table from me, the only empty spot other than the chair directly beside me. I smiled and he smiled. I sipped my coffee and stole glances at him. He started talking to me as most strangers do and I said why don't you move closer so I don't feel I am shouting. He moved closer and we sat and talked until the place closed. Half the time we forgot the band was playing. Sometimes we sang along.

Through the course of the evening we found we live three blocks away from each other, have a love for music and best part of all he doesn't have children! He is five years younger than I am but looks a bit older. After that we became inseperatable. I made him dinner the next night and we watched It's a Wonderful Life. We talked until 11:15 when my daughter called and said she was off work. We didn't even realize it was that late. Where did the time go? We have been together every other night since and talk in the evening on the phone when we are not together. He made dinner for me one night and offered me and my daughter along with her two friends the use of his huge kitchen to make our holiday goodies. While we worked on cookies and candies he made us dinner. He is wonderful and I am shocked that I have found someone so easily after having broke up with the last one a few weeks ago. I am very cautious about moving forward, but he is funny and fun to be with. My daughter likes him and he'll meet my son next week.

So, I am now in a relationship again. I am rather surprised but very happy.

May everyone be happy this holiday season. I hope you have peace and joy no matter how you celebrate. More after the new year.

doing a good deed

Okay, I wrote a letter to a local radio station that grants Christmas wishes. I wrote about my daughter's friend who was in foster care and when she aged out her foster parents kicked her out. She moved about for a couple weeks and then one day needed a ride to work (she can't drive due to an eye condition). I took her to work and from there she just kind of moved in. She stayed with us most of the summer and walked to work in 98 degree weather 6 miles to get to work. I would pick her up at night.

I had her save her money all summer and by mid August we were ready to apartment hunt. We looked at some terrible places and in some bad neighborhoods. One place we looked at was really cheap. I found out why. It was horrible. I took one look and looked at the girls and said, "get in the car." We finally found a wonderful apartment in a renovated house. It was very cute and I saw lots of potential. We got to paint it before she moved in. It was great. September first she officially moved in and I remember her first night we left her there she was crying and hugging my daughter. I understand what it is like to be young and on your own for the first time. It is scary. I told her we were not far away and she is still a part of our family. Since then she is doing much better and not so scared.

Anyway, I wrote a letter because she desperately needs an eye exam and new glasses and I know that is not in her budget right now. I also wished she could have a recliner or loveseat to sit on besides my two lawn chairs or the floor. I wrote about all she had been through and how hard she is working to be successful but there were still things she could use some help with.

The radio station called me and said they were going to get her that eye exam and glasses, a gift certificate to the mall for work clothes and a limo to drive her there since she doesn't drive. Also, she got her choice of a loveseat or recliner. They weren't done yet. They also got her a one year bus pass since she rides the public bus to and from work! I was speechless! I was so happy they were doing all this for her!


Today was the first of the gifts. I picked her up and took her to lunch (chinese). We went to the furniture store and the lady said we had 400.00 to work with. We found a loveseat that was also a double recliner. It was very soft (microfiber) and in the price range. The lady who was helping us said that she wanted to accessorize the loveseat. She gathered three decorative throw pillows, a silk sofa shawl, three picture frames and a small table with four shelves and wicker baskets on the shelves! I was blown away by her generosity! I kept thanking her and Daniell who is rather timid and shy was staring wide eyed at everything. She wispered to me at one point, "This is more than we were suppose to get." I wispered back, "Just go with it!" The radio station sent over some people to load it all in a van and take it to her apartment. They carried it up the stairs and set it up for her. They took some pictures and we shook their hands and thanked them. It was so great all they did to make her Christmas. I am so happy for her. I love her like another daughter and no one I could think of deserves this more than she.

Next stop is the mall and eye doctor. She has an appointment on January 7th and my daughter and I get to go with her in the limo to the mall! I want to be there for her eye appointment and hear what the doctor has to say. I'm so happy for her! She laughed at me and said, "You're so giddy I think you are more excited than I am." I said, "No, I just show my emotions more than most people." She laughed at me and gave me a big hug and said thanks for making her Christmas so special. It was worth it just to see the smile on her face and the look in her eyes. She just kept saying, "WOW."

Marching to the beat of your own drum

I have always tried to teach my kids to never follow the crowd, don't do what everyone else is doing, be your own person and own your own thoughts and feelings. I think they have gotten the message.

My son is a welder by trade. He has a lot of tattoos. At his daughter's christening he wore a short sleeve shirt. When he took off his winter coat he looked around the room at the other men who had on shirts and ties or suit jackets. He thought to himself, maybe I should have worn a long sleeve shirt. My mother leaned into me at about the same time he was having this thought and said, "I wish he would have worn a long sleeved shirt." I about laughed my butt off because yes, a long sleeve shirt would have been PROPER by church standards and I am sure there were others judging my son for how he looks, but my attitude about that is at the end of the day and in the big scheme of things...What does the opinion of these people matter? My son loves his little girl and he takes good care of her. She won't laugh for anyone but him. If she knows he is in the house she is fussy until she gets him to come to her or hold her. She wants daddy's attention. I say that is more important than what he wears or how he looks. She doesn't care that daddy has tattoos or that daddy wasn't in a suit. She cares that daddy plays with her and talks to her and feeds her. She is only three months old, but she loves the sound of her daddy singing to her (no one else can stand his singing, but like he says, it doesn't matter because to her it is great!).

My daughter is living an alternative lifestyle. She has a girlfriend and I think her girlfriend is great. I love her to pieces. She treats my daughter with love and respect and that is more than I can say for a lot of relationships out there that are heterosexual. My daughter has told her friends this is who she is and if they have a problem with it then they can move on down the road. She hasn't lost any friends over it, but I am glad she told them right up front that she wasn't about to hide who she is.

I myself am not exactly conventional. I am wiccan and a bit of a hippy. Yes, I'll admit I do work in corporate America, yes I am in accounting and yes I happen to like it, but in my home and in my life I choose to be a free spirit. I wear what I want (even to the office), I choose my friends for their eclectic personalities, and I have fun in life. My friends are not the "beautiful" people of the world. I choose friends by their character, their compassion, their humor. However, I must say I don't really choose my friends they kind of just find me. I don't know why or how it happens, but for some reason people like to talk to me. Stranger tell me things, ask me questions, approach me when they could have approach several people before they even got to me. My ex boyfriend use to call it my mutant power. If I were a super hero I'd be Conversation Woman or Dr. Talk to Me. I always stop and listen when people approach me to talk. I figure there must be a reason they want to speak and everyone has the right to be heard and feel validated. I have even talked to homeless people. My mother use to ask me in high school, "How do you meet these people? Why do you talk with every underdog of the world?" I never had an answer for her other than. I try and listen when people need to be heard.

So this is why my background is in human services and after college I realized that you do not get paid well to have the mutant ability to listen and hear people and their needs. So I migrated towards business to make a better living (Hey I was a single mom!). So I try to volunteer and I try to instill in my children the need to be open minded and compassionate towards others. Someday I hope to teach my granddaughter the importance of being a good listener.

No one ever became rich or famous for being a good conversationalist, but then again I am not looking to be rich or famous. I want to be able to touch people's lives in a positive way and I want to be a good role model for them as well. I want others to know they are just as important as all the beautiful people out there and they deserve love like everyone else.

So I am ending this message with be who you are in your heart. Answer to no one and march to the beat of your own drum, clarinet or tambourine. Whatever works for you. Hey Gordon Gano plays a violin.