Getting life back on track

Finally! I am back to work. I am so happy to be out and about. My trusting old Malibu up and died on me while I was in recovery. Poor tired thing finally had enough. So I had to go car shopping.

I literally become ill when I have to do these things. I get frustrated looking at many cars, filling out paperwork, being approved for my loan, and signing my life away. First of all, I know diddley squat about cars and what is a good car and which company makes the better car (Ford or Chevy). I know how to put the gas in, check and add oil as well as the anti freeze and windsheild wiper fluid. I feel I am doing good at these tasks since my father always took car of my cars and never taught these things to me or my sister.

So, every salesman can tell the minute I walk up to them I know nothing! My step dad took pity on me after a couple days and called his good friend and ex co-worker (poppy is retired) and said this is what she needs and this is what she is willing to pay. Nice salesman friend of poppy's said bring her in I have just the car for her. This was so much better tha when my brother in-law took me to a car lot and looked at a car with me and said to the salesman, "What! No CD player?" I was truly embarrassed for him.

So, I test drove my potential new car with the salesman and my parents in the back seat. The whole time the salesman is chatting to poppy about this person and that person. I am thinking what does he mean get on the interstate? I have not had my car on the inetrstate since my 21 yr old was 16! My parents are in this car and I'm to get on the interstate at 65 miles per hour for the first time in 5 yrs! Looking calm and cool on the outside I prayed for low traffic volume and sure enough I eased on without a care and no one got joustled about. I looked like an old pro.

Needless to say I bought the car. I had to sign a million papers it seemed and I traded in the pitiful Malibu (the first new car I ever purchased). I felt a little sad to see her go, I felt even sadder now that I had car payments once again (that is the part where I wanted to hurl). My dear friend Tasha understood when I called her and told her I was getting the car and I felt truly ill. Yes I am happy and excited to have a new car, but I enjoyed all that financial freedom I had been experiencing. I signed away the extra freedom for the next five yrs. Oh well. It is only money and I must have a reliable car for work as well as one I trust my children to be in and someday my grandchildren (granddaughter will be arriving in September!). I also need a car I am not afraid of on the interstate. I like to take day trips and travel. I have missed that.

So, now I am back on the road, back at work and working on manifesting my dream of a raw foods restaurant. I have a two year plan in mind. Once my daughter graduates from high school I will feel better about taking on a big project like opening my own restaurant. Heck! I'll even hire her if she needs a job while she is going to college.

Yes...life is good.

This is me!

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

thankful

Here I am out and about. I am so happy to be free of my bed, home, the main floor. I have started back to work 1/2 days. I will be full-time in two weeks.

Here is what I learned while down for 6 weeks. I learned that my friends and family love me very much. I have a great support system. I am thankful to them all for being there for me and my daughter. I learned my job will not fall apart without me and my work will still be there for me when I return. My co-workers missed me terribly and were wonderful about calling me and bringing food. I am so grateful to have a job I love as well as the people I work with. It is like having a very diverse extended family. They make me laugh and we support one another through the good and the bad times.

I have always said boredom is for thoe who lack the mental compacity to entertain themselves. I have prided myself on not being bored. Well I learned you can be bored when given 5 channels of television and most of daytime television consists of talk shows and soap operas (horror!). I do enjoy some court TV if it is not too over the top. I want to hear the good cases. I have an interest in criminal justice. I fell in love with watching Ellen and I was low enough on two occasions to watch Jerry Springer which left me wanting to wash my brain with soap. Yes I got bored I got tired of reading reading reading and watching movies from my bed. I am grateful however that I had a variety of reading/watching material and I am grateful I can now walk.

Physical thereapy began this week along with half days at work. I was very tired by Friday night. I am thankful my body is in working order to feel wore out from walking. I will get stronger and I will be myself again some day (approx. 6 months). I look forward to that time when I can ride a bike 7.5 miles in 30 minutes and walk a mile in 15-20 minutes. I will get there with patience and the help of my friends. I will have a life again and I look forward to sharing with the special man who stood by my side through surgery and recovery. I am thankful for oldermusicgeek for being loving, caring, bold and comic relief. Everyday I thank the goddess for all that is good in my life.

Children

My son turned 21 this month. He was all excited. I wanted to go out with him and celebrated (damn this back of mine). He spent the evening with his wife and Saturday with the guys. I was going on guys’ night out (Woo hoo!). However, my party days are going to have to wait. Even with my boyfriend, I am ready for some funky monkey love, but he says we will have to settle for doing the tame monkey for a while. He wants me better, so I can do other stuff as well, like walk. Yes, walking would be good here. I agree I'd rather take it easy now, so I won't be in a wheelchair later. The doctor said it would be three months before I am back to my regular routine. But enough about all this.

My son is going to be a daddy in September. He and his wife found out they are having a little girl. We are all excited! My son wanted a little girl so badly he could hardly contain himself. He was on the phone to everyone he knows. He is already laying down the law for what she will not be allowed to do. Poor baby! She isn't even out of the womb yet, and he is already saying she will not be allowed to date. Well, I'll see about that. I think baby girl will be spending a lot of time at grandma's (wink wink). I'll get around daddy's laws (heeheehee).

Little girls are precious. My little girl is 15 now. She is the last child at home. She is a sophomore and she was invited to prom by her senior girlfriend. They are going to make a statement. I said girls can get away with dancing together as friends and both girls told me separately they do not want to have to pretend. My hat is off to these brave young women. They are going to take some heat at school, especially my daughter who has two more years to go before graduation. I worry about how this will impact her next two years, but I stand by her decision. I played devil's advocate and let her know what she could be in for, but she is tough. She is ready and she is not ashamed of who she is. I am proud of her. I love her so much, and she has been through more than most teenage girls have been through.

Her life changed drastically at the tender age of 12 when her father used his authority and love against her. (See book - The Secrets in my Home). She has become a strong independent young woman after much therapy. She will never let anyone hurt her again. She has found her voice and she knows how to use it. She had to become tough and angry to get through everything initially. She is still tough but not as angry. She can be sweet and loving like me, but I see her father's dark and brooding side in her as well. I read it in her poetry. She had a boyfriend for about 6 months. A nice young man. She wasn't as happy with him as I see her now with this girl. She is so happy and animated when she talks about her girlfriend. She is more open with me, sharing more with me about her social life, group of friends and what she is up to with these young people.

My daughter's friends came over and made Easter dinner for us since they know I am a partial invalid at the moment. We had friends stop by all weekend off and on, and my boyfriend and his daughter were here as well (how great is he). The teens all agreed that my boyfriend's daughter is their favorite 8-year-old. She impressed them with how smart she is as well as enjoying her silliness. They liked teasing with her and playing with her. I thought it was thoughtful of these teenage girls to think of their friend at a time like this and want to help. I ask you, how many teens do you know go to all that effort? They even did the dishes.

I am so frustrated with being home. I didn't get to take my daughter shopping for her prom dress. My boyfriend and his daughter took her. They had me on the cell phone, but it wasn't the same. She got a lovely dress that is very flattering to her figure. My sister is taking her to get her hair done. I am missing it out on all the fun! My boyfriend would say WAAA! or Deal with it! Ladies, you know how I feel. I can't wait to see her. I know she is going to be beautiful. I'll get plenty of pictures for I am sure it will be a long time before I get to see her dressed up again. My boyfriend said my daughter is butch. I resented the comment. She is not butch! She has long beautiful curly hair that she wears up in a messy bun or a ponytail and she does wear fingernail polish and lip gloss on occasion. She prefers men’s cologne to women’s and she wears jeans and t-shirts. So she isn't into fashion, but so what? That doesn't make her look manly. She just prefers a natural look. I think my boyfriend the make-up hater would appreciate that rather than says she looks butch.

I love my kids. I stand by their decisions in life. I am proud of my son. He has a very good job and makes a very nice living. He is young and should be proud of what he has accomplished. There was a time I thought he wouldn't survive in this world long enough to see 21 years of age. Well, he surpassed my expectations and not only survived, but landed a great job. My daughter has been much easier to raise than my son. I am proud of her as well. She is going to be an amazing young woman some day. I can't wait to see what she will be like in her 20's, 30's, etc. She told me last night I am her mother, her father and her friend.

Manifesting Your Dreams

So here I am, still a prisoner in my home waiting for my back to heal so I may again enter the big wide world. I am dying to go back to work. I do not like people doing my work. I am frustrated with what I do not know and what I have been told is going on with my workload. My boyfriend just says, "Deal with it! You can't change it and you can't do anything about it, so deal!" Yeah, easier said than done. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my work. Which is so out of character with who I am in my daily private life. I am very easy going, go with the flow, fun-loving and whatever happens...happens. Life is good.

So, what am I doing with all my new time on my hands? Reading. I have read a book a day. My friends brought paperback novels to me, romances (horrors!) and mysteries (not bad). I am thirsting for deeper knowledge! So, I ordered some books on my dream. My boyfriend offered to bring some books over too (yea!).

My dream is to own a raw foods restaurant. I truly believe being a raw foodist is the right thing for me. For my health, my weight loss and my family. Now with the back surgery, I know I will not be able to go back to the gym like I was before. I will have to be much more careful with my weight lifting. I will not be able to push it like I did before. I can no longer use the "no pain, no gain" mentality. If it hurts, I must stop! In fact, now if I think it will hurt, I need to stop. I cannot afford to mess up my back again.

So, now I have read my books about raw foods and raw foodists and how this kind of eating has changed their lives as well as their health. I have studied the charts on how much nutrients we are taking in with cooked foods and how much I will take in with raw foods. I have been talking about this restaurant for a year now. I do tarot readings on it and I get positive reads saying this is a good move. So, my question to myself is what is holding me back from manifesting this dream? It finally hit me. I am not living it in my home. How can I expect the universe to deliver the location, the building, the funds when I am not currently practicing what I preach.

I talked this over with my boyfriend (he's a smart man). He agreed. I can't open a restaurant and right off the bat make beautiful tasty foods. I will have to experiment with the foods, tasting, testing and having others give me feedback on what is good and what needs to be improved upon. He is even willing to be a guinea pig for me (I love him!). My daughter has no interest in it, but I am sure when she tries the food (without knowing it is raw), she will be won over. Oh, I am not so naive to believe a 15-year-old who has eaten junk food will all of a sudden not want to eat McDonalds, but I am hopeful that her intake of junk will lessen.

Raw food is 100% nutrients being taken in by the body. Live enzymes come from raw organic foods so that when we eat, our body will not use our existing enzymes to try and digest the foods we eat. Cooked food depletes our body of enzymes. Raw food delivers live enzymes to help us digest and break down the foods we eat. This saves our personal enzymes from having to leave their work area to help with digestion.

I've done my research in the past year. I know where my consumer base is located and I know where the majority of raw foods restaurants exist. I would not have any competition in my city. At this point, there isn't a raw foods restaurant in my city at all. There are places that are integrating raw with cooked in the state, but not close enough to be a threat.

I talk about my restaurant with people. I play with it in my mind...how it will look, what it will sell, how it will be set up. I know the more people who are thinking about it and believing in it, the Universe will deliver it. I know the general location I want it to be in. I know the Universe will pick out the right property and it will be available when I am ready for it and it will be the right price too.

I am confident that we all can manifest our dreams. We can create our own reality. I was inspired by a book, "Ask and It is Given" By Jerry and Esther Hicks. I always felt I could make my dreams come true. I just wasn't sure how to go about doing it. This book showed me how. This book inspired me to really search for what I wanted and make it happen.

I hope everyone makes their dreams come true. Let your dreams grow wings and take flight!